suevjones: reflectinglearningsharing

Label makers, measuring sticks and other issues....

For a long time I've been fascinated by a question that frequently seems to find its way into a variety of social and work-related conversations.

"What do you do?"

I should also say that my interest in this question is fuelled by an irritation for it.  I think it relates back to my early twenties, by which time I'd gained an education, (tick), done some travelling (tick) and then was apparently supposed to be getting on with applying myself in a fulfilling and well-paid career of my choosing.  Afterall, that was the expectation.  Not mine, you understand - just 'the' expectation.  Only I never quite managed it.  Not in a way that is clearly definable to others at least.

Label maker

And I think that is what is at the root of my issue with this question.  It infers that I'm going to be able to provide a response with which the asker can easily identify.  It requires me to provide a label.  "I'm Sue and I work as a (insert easily recognisable occupation)".  Such labelling is all part of how lots of interactions have long been played out.  It's how we are encouraged to present ourselves to each other - we've been at it for ages now, and yet the world and the roles/jobs/ways of making a living etc have changed dramatically, so why are we still doing it?

In some cases, it's even taken a stage further.  I was in a meeting recently where the attendees each introduced themselves as 'their job title', closely followed by 'who they line managed'.  Apart from finding this slightly amusing, this told me nothing useful about what these people actually did within the organisation and how it might relate to why we were all there; but again, they were simply carrying out the expectation.

And on reflection, what is really interesting about this scenario, is the way the people in the meeting seemed to need to validate their presence by stating their level of responsibility and superiority over others.  I guess, that's how we're encouraged to define ourselves, but is it just me, or does that approach feel way too limiting and just a little bit out of date?

Measuring stick

A conversation with a friend recently reminded me of how wasteful all this pandering to expectation can be.  We were discussing achievements and what life was supposed to look like by certain milestones, measured by birthdays.  We seem to spend half of our lives trying to live up to the expectations of others, and the other half trying to unpack what we really want to 'be' now we're supposedly grown up. 

So what can we do to redress the balance and shift the weight of expectation?

We need to design our own measuring stick.  To determine for ourselves how we want and need to measure success/happiness/being etc. and know that this will change throughout our lives.  And this is OK.

We also need to take steps, however small in order to move things forward.  And yet - "Don't search for all the answers at once.  A path is formed by laying one stone at a time." *

Do things

So, go - do things. 

Cultivate your talents.

Gain awareness of what creates a synchronicity with who you are, not how others expect you to be.

Seek the company of those who are interested, those who want to help and those who fire your passions.

Ask pertinent questions - especially of the label makers.

And be reassured that while what you do, is indeed part of who you are.  It doesn't have to define you unless you want it to.  You are in fact far more complex and interesting than that.

 

*The source of this quotation involves a giant, a special agent and a is it or isn't it a dream-type scenario within a 90's TV series from David Lynch.  Inspiration can be drawn from the strangest places don't you think?

 

Airy, fluffy and lacking in substance.......(why Twitter is my favourite distraction)

 Recently, I find myself coming back to that statement about learning being something you participate in - it isn't something that just happens to you. 

The reason for this is because it keeps cropping up.  And one of the reasons why it keeps cropping up is because more and more, I am noticing that people don't seem to have ever given this much thought, so I feel compelled to point it out to them  - (irritating, I know).

Another reason is to do with Twitter. 

"Twitter is like cotton candy"

I was chatting recently with a colleague who has pioneered lots of interesting stuff to do with her field of work and in particular, who has been a great advocate of incorporating technology to help people learn, exchange ideas and share experiences.  In fact, she has been doing this for decades.  Yet, there we were having a conversation about the value of Twitter - which by the way, we both understood - it was just interesting to talk it through.

Now, let's be clear.  I love Twitter.  But I understand that it isn't everyone's cup of tea.  Here are some things I hear people say about Twitter:

"I don't know where to start"  "I don't understand what to do with it" 

And, one of my favourites: "How do you know what to choose/who to follow/which bits to read?"

Plus - and this is one that I think lots of people struggle with: "I can't possibly say everything I want to say in 140 characters!"

The suggestion from my colleague that "twitter is like cotton candy" got me thinking.  Is this because it's airy, fluffy and somewhat lacking in substance?  Possibly.  It could also be because it's like a sweet, sugary fix and can be a little sticky. 

My view?  I think it's both.  Like most things in life  - you need to choose how to get the most from it.  And this is where I believe lots of us get stuck.

Taking the bait

One of the best things about Twitter for me is that it can provide just enough detail to hook me in and then I can decide whether I want to go for more.  I can take an idea, a thought a blog post etc and it's my interpretation and exploration that makes it meaningful.  I can also decide whether I want to do something with it right then, or save it for when I'm ready to re-visit it.  Or, simply muse over it consciously and unconsciously.  And this is part of how we learn.  Some of us perhaps more than others, but it is right there in the mix - it's just we're not used to labelling this as learning because that's not how we're 'programmed' to learn by our institutions.  After all - how would they measure it!?

However, our obsession with wanting to get the 'right' answer and to a certain extent our fear of uncertainty, prevent us from being able to take that next step and convert the potential from a learning tool like Twitter into something useful.  Because we don't know how.  And, because maybe it feels too much like hard work.  We have to think......for ourselves.  (Something else that's not generally part of the learning curriculum.)

Connecting to learn

Annother great thing about Twitter is the learning that can take place through tweetchats and via hashtag labelling.  I currently lead this type of chat once a week in my day job and I can almost see the lightbulb moments happening as participants share what they really think about stuff, challenge oneanother and open themselves up to new ways of thinking.  In that particular field of work - it's also an invaluable way for a group of people who often describe themselves as 'working in isolation', to feel connected and be part of something bigger.  And I think that's important.

"If learning was understood from a more modern relational perspective, it would resemble a process of many voices interacting at the same time"  @eskokilpi 

I like this - to me it's saying that there is a value in the way we are now able to connect with others, and that the sharing, the discussion and the collaboration leads to understanding - both individually and collectively.  Of course, as human beings we've always done this - it's just that technology and platforms such as Twitter make this more accessible, more instant and provide an unlimited place to play. 

It needs to be nurtured though - and this is the 'participatory' bit, because this type of collaborative communication "either creates value or creates waste."  In other words - we can be inspired and energised by it, or we can feel overwhelmed and switched off.

Your choice

So, it's up to us.  This for me is the exciting part and the challenging part.  I enjoy having a say in that, in deciding "what to choose/who to follow/which bits to read".  And is it a distraction?  Yes!  Surely this is a good thing?  I want to be distracted - it helps me think - gets me interested in stuff I would never have otherwise discovered and broadens my perspective. 

The bit that makes it work is you. 

You need to determine how distracted you want and need to be.  And if like me, (because I do) you also need to retreat and reflect and completely absorb yourself in something - you can choose to do that too!  Just pop it on your playlist for later and you'll find your way back to it when you're ready. 

Oh, and those of you still not convinced about the 140 characters thing..... it makes you focus, identifies what you really want to say and encourages you to be creative.  There's always blogging for full blown expanded thoughts and using one platform can lead those who are really interested to find out more about what you have to say, to the other.

Still not sure?  Try this: How to think for yourself   (via @skeptobot)

Couldn't resist.  But I think you get it - don't you? 

#bitthatmakesitworkisyou

 

 

 

It's goal setting - but not as you know it.......(and not a new year resolution in sight!)

The new year is just a week old and already I have lost count of the number of blogs, quotes, tips and tricks for helping us all to achieve and attain productivity and 'feel good' about our work in 2012.  And, like most people - I have been doing my own share of reflecting and thinking about what I've learnt from the previous year, and what I want to do differently and better in the months ahead.

In conversations with colleagues and friends, I noticed a range of approaches and responses to dealing with this 'new year - time to change' phenomenon.  Some prefer to ignore it as some sort of blip on the calendar and simply carry on as usual.  Others seem to feel a real urge to make changes and to harness the opportunity to capture what they want and how they're going to go about it.  One close friend even talked about setting "half goals" for the year ahead.

As a coach, the concept of a 'half' goal intrigues me.  What does this look like?  And, how would you go about exploring the 'well-formed outcome' in this scenario?  Would it just be  half-formed instead?  On first look, the 'half' goal seems to defy what the experts tell us about the clarity and specificness (yes it really is a word - I checked) that's so important in coaching.  When pressed about it though, my friend was certain.  The half goal was the way forward.  "It is goal setting Sue, but not as you know it"  She spoke with authority and experience and I felt compelled to understand.

When it came down to it, the half goal wasn't really much different from a full one.  It just allowed for a little flexibilty and for some reason, saying it was a half goal felt less scary and intimidating to my friend and she was able to manage her way to achieving it more easily.  A good coach will always support their client to achieve what the client wants and needs to achieve.  They will also acknowledge the significance of labels and what we need to call stuff, without allowing that to harm the coaching process.  And, whatever proportion of goal you're looking at - beginning with the end in mind is always a good place to start.

What I realised though, was that my friend had found her own approach, her 'thing' and how it needed to work for her.  And, judging from a recent email - it's working!  It doesn't really matter that the half goal might sound a little half-hearted to the ears of some goal setting purists.  The point is that we all need to find our own 'thing' - the approach that fits with us, with who we are as human beings and all the complex stuff included in that.  Using a specific system or method is a good starting point, but like all the best ideas, they become even better when we play around with them a little and make them our own.

So here's something from my own approach, Stop, Start, Continue (which is based on looking at what you want to stop doing;  identifying what you want to start or begin doing and setting out what you will continue to do and to build on).  Feel free to customise as you wish, or simply use it to prompt your own thinking......

• Stop focusing on your gaps
• Start identifying and building on your strengths
• Continue trying ways to set out and keep a track of your goals and achievements until you find the 'thing' that works for you!

And when you find it - make sure you share your approach with others.  It might just be that bit of insipration they've been looking for to help them discover their own 'thing' too! 

 

 

 

A funny thing happened on the way to deliver a workshop.....

....I forgot my spoon (and why this was important)!

I had the pleasure of being invited to deliver a workshop session at a regional event recently.  At least, it was meant to be a pleasure, and for the most part it was.  (I could share with you the shockingly poor way this particular event was organised and how due to a complete lack of communication on the part of the person designated to pull it altogether, I am amazed that anyone actually turned up; but as usual - that's not what this blog post is about (just building some dramatic context...)

In fact, I was reflecting on some of the feedback received from the participants who attended the session.  On the day, in the main, people seemed to be responsive, taking it in - perhaps, even - learning something.  Who knows really?  There was one comment though, which reached me after the event  via the anonymous feedback system set up by the organisers.  Which got me thinking about lots of stuff, not least - why is it that those who are disappointed don't ever come and discuss it with you?

The comment basically said that they had wanted something much more nuts and bolts - to be 'taught about' x,y, and z.  And I could see why they would have been disappointed - because that's not what this session was about.  In fact, I'm surprised they managed to sit through it because with this particular session I was taking the Galileo approach to learning "We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves." 

And the key word here for me is 'discover' - because as far as I'm concerned this is a natural part of the learning process.  It implies that there will be some sort of 'action' on your part, that you will need to participate, and that the trainer might have deliberately forgotten to bring their spoon along (with which to feed you, for those of you not quite getting the clunky metaphor).

I know, I know - this sounds like work!  Well it is, sort of.  But think of it another way......Are you engergised by the "steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence?"  If not, why not?  To what extent to you thirst and strive to learn?  Because if the answer is I'm not and I don't, then I guess your next question needs to be  - Am I OK with this?

Learning for me is a passion (a word over-used these days I know).  I've thought a lot about it over the years and made it my thing, my focus.  It's the way I earn my living and the way I parent.  And, in the spirit of sharing, I'll let you know where my thirst and strive to learn comes from.  It's because I know I'm not really that smart and if anyone ever found out...... (actually true).  Plus, I love that feeling I get when I 'discover' a new way of thinking about something, a different approach, or when I'm challenged, or when I learn more about myself or the people I'm working with. 

So, what about you?  How important is learning in your life and work?  If we consider that "there can be no learning without action and no action without learning" (Reg Revans - founder of Action Learning Sets - worth a look up) then how are you putting this into practice?  Are YOU ready for the day that you attend a workshop or seminar where the trainer has deliberately forgotten their spoon and you might have to think for yourself?!

And often the best learning isn't even about new knowledge or the right answer - (although work your way through our current educational establishments and you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise.)  It's about gaining insight, understanding and above all, knowing what questions to ask.  It involves thinking about stuff and that can take time; talking about stuff with others - debating and discussing.  We need to embrace the action of learning throughout our lives and our work, to model this as leaders and managers and to encourage it within our teams.  Most of all we need to be open and receptive to doing it differently from time to time.

Go on, ignite that spark.....what have you got to lose - your spoon?

Letting go when it's out of your control...

and enjoying what happens next.

This weekend, in the true spirit of 'reflecting, learning, sharing', I've been thinking back over something big that happened.

I say 'big', because it was - a big deal, or at least it felt so in the build up to it.  And it mattered - people were depending on me and the team I had put together to deliver.  And not just to deliver.  Because we had promised something innovative, something different, something challenging, so in a way - everyone was waiting to witness the outcome.

When it came to it though, some stuff didn't go as we had planned.  Some of the ideas we'd had, didn't work out in the way we'd intended.  And, in the midst of us discovering this I actually felt quite calm.  I was pragmatic - there was no other way to be really as I realised, there wasn't actually anything we could do about it - it was as they say "out of our hands".

And it was OK.  In fact, more than that - the outcome itself was incredibly positive.  The 'big deal' we had built up to ourselves and to others, was in fact a success - just not in the way we'd imagined. 

What's significant about all this is two things.  The first being my reaction - as the person responsible, usually I display a certain amount of control-freakery.  But here I knew I couldn't.  The second is much more important because it's not about me, it's about the people I was working with and what I was able to notice about them.  In making this thing work, they rose to the challenge, and in doing so exceeded all expectations.

Luckily I was able to appreciate this unfolding as it was happening, and I noticed them stretching themselves in a way they perhaps hadn't before; enjoying working together; having a lasting impact on the others involved; and receiving the credit and acknowledgement they deserve.

And in an unfamiliar role for me, I realised I was taking a step back because they didn't need me.  Because it wasn't about me being clever and having supported them on their journey to this point.  It reminded me of the Coaching process and how none of that matters.  It's all about the client and what's happening with them.  Don't get me wrong, I did take some satisfaction, but not because I made it happen - because they did.  And I think that's brilliant.

Can't wait to see what happens next......

Stuck on a train without tech....

And what I did with the time presented to me.

Recently I experienced something truly horrible. 

(Using these words of course for dramatic effect - there are lots of 'truly horrible' things in this world I realise and this probably isn't really one of them, but it's my first blog post and I need to get your attention).

It was though quite an unsettling experience.  I was delayed on my way home from a rather challenging day of travelling and meetings and my smartphone ran out of charge.  And my reaction really surprised me - I felt completely disconnected, even though I was at a major city train station with hundreds of people, for a brief moment I felt as though I wasn't part of the world.

But that's not really what this post is about.  What I wanted to share with you is what I did with the time that was suddently presented to me.  Once on my way home I began to relax, looked out of the window and began thinking, musing and in fact, starting to plan out the beginnings of a blog site and ideas for future posts - I had been meaning to do it for ages but hadn't quite found the time.  I wondered then why it took something as simple as my phone running out of charge and forgetting to pack my charger to get me to focus on an action that was really important to me.

I didn't really see it like that though - what I saw instead was an opportunity, a reason if you like to 'step away from the tech'.  Silly to feel as though you need permission, but unconsciously, I think that's where I was.  It helped of course that I had some fabulous new coloured gel pens and paper to hand and was able to capture my thoughts in the form of a mind map!  So, even though I was staring enviously at the woman across the table from me who was flashing her laptop, blackberry and i-phone at me (shiny, shiny); I think that secretly she was wishing she too could 'step away from the tech' for a moment and do some colouring in.....

And the best part?  I actually had to remember stuff as I was creating my mind map - I couldn't just look it up on my phone, or gather some inspiration from a website or tweet.  My brain had to remember to work in a different sort of way - pulling through details, thoughts, information I had stored up - ready to be brought to the fore and put to use.

So, I hope you enjoy the results.  It's a simple format I know, and that's deliberate - at least for now.  Oh, and don't forget to 'step away from the tech' - once in a while, just to see what happens (gel pens optional).